Posts Written By L Parker Brown

How Do We Say Goodbye?

I occasionally hear people wondering aloud about why other people write messages to the dead. Those who question the act say it is irrational because, they reason, the departed cannot read the notices directed to them. But open any daily newspaper to the Obituaries page and you will likely find “In Memoriam” tucked among the Death Notices. Those sentimental ads containing poems, acknowledgement of anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions give credence to the Latin phrase which means “in the memory of.” 

Grief is a strange animal and we all react to it in our own unique way. Consider funerals for instance. They are certainly no laughing matter – but with all due respect – some of us can recall at least one funeral that had comic relief.

Imagine a pastor has enthusiastically rendered the eulogy and is seated in the pulpit, dabbing his sweaty forehead with a folded white handkerchief. The senior choir, looking solemn in their funeral robes, is swaying side-to-side with the precision of a pendulum clock, as they croon the fourth stanza of a long, tear-jerking hymn. Amazingly, cousin Grace who is sitting in the pews, jumps to her feet and lets out an earsplitting scream. Her shoulder-shaking sobs resonate throughout the church as people seated nearby gently pull her back onto the bench and try to calm her. Meanwhile, across the aisle, another woman leaps up. Spreading her arms toward Heaven she snaps her head back, inadvertently knocking off her wide-brimmed, peacock feather hat,  sending it onto the lap of the person behind her. Her own blood-curding wails fill the air, as white-uniformed ushers carrying Jesus paper fans rush to aid both women.

Switch your mental channel to another, less dramatic service. It is equally as reverent, but more upbeat. A local band follows the brief eulogy with a performance of Kirk Franklin’s Brighter Day, and some family members and guests take turns making a joyful noise as they share laugher and humorous anecdotes about the deceased, celebrating a buoyant home going for their loved one. 

All things considered, it is understandable that heavyhearted souls express the loss of a loved one in their own way. Some place flowers annually on a gravesite or toast with a shot of wine, others write In Memoriam.

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A Blast From The Past For Colored Girls

Sometime during the 1970’s, I saw Ntozake Shange’s feminist era play for Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf (sic). The production had an impressive run on Broadway and won a Tony award.  Because of my familiarity with the play, I decided that I had to see Tyler Perry’s movie, because I could not for the life of me figure out how he could dramatize a play comprised primarily of women reciting poetry and create a quality dramatic production. Well, OMG!  I saw the movie and cannot stop saying OMG!  My high-spirited reaction could be the result of having seen the play and being familiar with the script.  Anyone who did not see the play might have a less enthusiastic reaction and they might not understand that some of the lengthy monologue spoken by several of the women in the movie is stanza straight out of the play. But I think that any mature woman who goes to see the movie whether or not she saw the play can definitely relate to some of the characters or knows someone who is like one of the women. Many props to Tyler Perry.  The New York Times review referred to Tyler’s film as “a thunderous storm of a movie.” It is Tyler’s  best movie yet. Two thumbs up for him.  He pulled it off in a big way.

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Boomer Reality: When The Checks Are Not in the Mail – Part II

Read Part I

To supplement meager unemployment checks, a number of older workers who exhaust their savings are cashing in their 401k or other retirement investment plans, and are filing prematurely for social security, despite the consequential penalty of a reduction in future benefits. Although liquidating a pension plan or drawing social security too early enables unemployed citizens to stall a financial crisis, they lose in the long run by forfeiting hundreds of thousands of dollars; because the money received, less the penalty, is not adjustable to the original amount calculated for the recipient at full retirement age. What you see when you file that application is what you will get thereafter, excluding any cost-of-living increases that may be applicable in the future. When the unemployment checks stop coming to the near-retirement-age  boomers, many out of desperatation opt for the reduced social security benefits over no income at all. Undoubtedly, some would say without hesitation, “Damn the penalty. Show me the money!”

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what discerning boomers know — that some will die before receiving social security benefits. Subsequently, their demise leaves a little more change in an already bleeding kitty, and those who survive long enough to draw the funds can still look forward to a shaky future.

According to recent media reports, in 2011, for the third year in a row, 58 million Americans who are currently receiving monthly social security benefits will again be denied a cost-of-living increase. Furthermore, reports by various retirement research groups predict that social security funds will run out around 2037.

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Boomer Reality: When The Checks Are Not In The Mail — Part I

Until recently, many baby boomers never considered filing for social security benefits before reaching their full retirement age. Various surveys reveal that boomers who are healthy and relatively content on their jobs plan to continue working indefinitely, but as more middle-aged workers become victims of recession-related budget cuts, plant closings, downsizing, and layoffs, many are being forced out of the workplace. For those who are already living paycheck-to-paycheck, having the financial rug snatched from beneath them causes a devastating wake-up “fall” into economic mayhem. Add to the job loss, the subsequent forfeiture of health and life insurance, and then subtract — the different is loss of economic stability and peace of mind.

Contrary to what skeptics believe, most boomers dutifully and frantically job hunt while collecting unemployment benefits.  Not only is it implausible to think that the majority of people drawing unemployment are complacent, the reality is that in today’s economy the meager unemployment check, no matter how many ways you stretch the dollars, is not enough to cover basic necessities. The jobless are losing their homes, moving in with relatives and some, having been pauperized, are living on the streets or in their cars. When the job hunt has proved futile and the unemployment benefits are nearly exhausted, some boomers are turning to “last resort” resources for their livelihood. (Read Part II.)

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