My two-cents worth and then some. An online journal by LP Brown.

Browsing Category General

Putting an Old Spin on the New Norm

by on ·General, Lifestyle and Culture, Opinion, The Way I See It

Banana 2Contemplating the state of  things boggles my mind. I can’t speak to other countries, but in America, the land of the free, the home of the crazed, er, I mean brave, in the land of opportunity, you can be anything you want to be. If you are male, you can transform to female or vice versa. Just ask Caitlyn or Chaz. If you are white, you can go black without transforming anything, except your skin tone and hair texture. Ask Rachael. And if the King of Pop were alive, you could ask him about making an ethnic transformation from black to white. Plainly stated, with courage and enough money, you can have it your way. And I’m not talking about a burger.

Rational dictates that just because you consider yourself to be something doesn’t make it so. Perhaps in Fantasyland. But in the real world no matter how you try to color it, reconstruct it, snip it, implant it, legislate it or rename it – it is what it is. Remove the thorns, trim the stem, and pick the petals off, a rose will still be a rose. Calling a dog a cat doesn’t make it a feline any more than calling a tomato stuffed into a cucumber stuffed inside a banana skin makes it a new fruit. Or does it?

Political Correctness or fear of reprisal prevents numerous people from publicly expressing their feelings about controversial issues, especially if their opinion goes against the grain of what some call “the new norm.” But there are some brave hearts who are not afraid to speak out.

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Intermission

by on ·General, Lifestyle and Culture

Big Bucket Of Popcorn. Isolated On A WhiteThe joy of having a blog is the freedom to write about whatever you want to write. And if your life doesn’t interfere with the process, forcing you to direct your time and energy elsewhere, you can write as often as you like. Unless, occasionally, there is an intermission.

Regular readers of this site will notice that I haven’t posted anything in a few months. (Thank you for missing me.) Rest assured that I am still here and still working. I’m just temporarily sidetracked by other things.

Currently, one of those things is a book I’m writing. It’s a memoir of sorts. If I am learning anything during this process, it is that no other piece of writing requires one to be so self-revealing as a memoir. It’s like exposing yourself naked to the world. That is if you are to be honest. Being honest doesn’t mean that you have to reveal everything. You can be honest and still hold back. If it is too embarrassing or too painful to air dirty laundry, you can either rewash it to remove the stains or throw it out. Choice is a wonderful thing.

Another lesson that I am learning from my latest undertaking is that writing a memoir dredges up long-suppressed thoughts and emotions, like when my husband and I divorced back in the early 1970s. I remained friendly with his parents who lived in another state although I rarely saw them. Sometime around 1975 my father-in-law phoned and asked me to bring the children for a visit since he had not seen them in a few years. I boarded the train with my two children and took the four-hour ride to Far Rockaway, New York, and we all spent an enjoyable weekend together. Three months later my father-in-law was dead of a heart attack. I was glad I had made the trip. I interjected that bit of information because it reveals one of the heartfelt memories resurrected while working on the book.

Although the book is a long-term project that is occupying much of my time, I don’t mind. The fact is that I love to write, and grasp every opportunity. I credit my experience writing  for a local newspaper, years ago, with keeping me eager to accept challenges and untroubled by negative criticism.  Lucky for me – and to the chagrin of some folks – my tendency to be opinionated and my sense of humor remain intact.

Some people live to travel and party, the nerd in me lives to read and write. I thank God everyday for my writing skills and count my blessings like a gambler counts chips. This blog is one of those blessings.

We’ll connect again when I put up my next post. Right now, I’ve got to get back to work. In the meantime, contemplate the eloquent words of novelist, Margaret Laurence, who wrote, “When I say work I only mean writing.  Everything else is just odd jobs.”

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Being the Executor:  A Lighthearted Look at a Serious Job

by on ·General

Folders with the label Estate and LawyerWhen a person dies leaving a will, the will frequently identifies the individual who is to be the executor of the estate. If the decedent died intestate (without leaving a will), then a close relative might assume the responsibilities of handling the estate or the court will appoint an administrator. As I am learning firsthand, being an executor of an estate with a will is not easy. I can imagine the frustration of the poor soul managing an estate without one.

In the District of Columbia where I live the executor (executrix, for a female) is called the personal representative. If you have never been an executor or a PR, you have probably heard the words, but don’t know exactly what they mean. If you already know it all, then read something else. But for the benefit of people like me, who had a clue, but didn’t really know what the job entailed, I will try to explain it to you, as one layperson to another. A heads up – so you won’t be confused – I will be using both titles, executor and PR, interchangeably.

The executor manages the deceased person’s property:  bank accounts, furniture and other valuables and delivers the assets to the heirs or other beneficiaries. He or she opens an estate account, transfers the decedent’s cash assets into that account, and uses the funds to pay the late person’s bills, creditors, and beneficiaries. The estate account requires an EIN (Estate Identification Number) obtained from the IRS, because the PR must file an individual income tax return for the decedent and pay the estate tax.

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Anonymous Speaks: The Tongue-Waggers

by on ·General, Opinion, The Way I See It

Anonymous vector signSometimes I blog about topics that have been nagging me for a while; on other occasions, I write about whatever subject comes to mind when I sit down at the computer. There is always something to write about. When ideas don’t come to me off the top of my head, I rely on the media. It offers a wealth of topics. But occasionally someone will leave a note on my blog on the “What do you want me to write about?” tab, and suggest that I write about a certain subject. Often the subject is something they want to get off of their chest.

You read it right. They want me to write it, so that they can vent – through me; as if I don’t already catch enough flack from expressing my own opinions. But admit it, that’s what opinionated people do. We opine. You do it. I do it. Everybody does it. And so – on behalf of those who may not have their own public platform, or perhaps have not been blessed with the gift of gab (in this case, relevant to writing), or are just reluctant to put themselves in the crossbow like one of Olivia Pope’s gladiators (certainly, you’ve heard the saying ‘Fools rush in…’) — for those cautious souls, I’ve started a series called Anonymous Speaks. The first entry follows.

 

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 Some people talk a good game. In fact, that’s all they do is talk, talk, talk. Rarely do they follow through with any action. They are the ultimate wolf ticket sellers, the tongue-waggers. They constantly boast about what they could or would do (while sometimes cunningly suggesting what someone else should do). Tongue-waggers lead others to believe that they are workhorses, but they seldom run anything except their mouth. The only track record they have is for spewing hot air.

Most of us know someone like them. (Raise your hand if you are one of them. Couldn’t trip you up, huh? But you know who you are.) Tongue-waggers are found anywhere and everywhere. There is always at least one in social clubs, in churches, and they are all over the workplace. They impress some people because they talk a good game, but if you study them you will notice that they rarely do anything; and volunteer for something? Ha! Does a snowman sunbathe?

Understandably, this ticks off self-starters, because their sharp eyes easily spot people who have a lot of mouth, but do nothing but flap their lips. Tongue-waggers seldom display any ability or willingness to assume responsibility. As my anonymous critic says about them, “People like that talk the talk, but when it comes time to walk – they are nowhere to be found.” They stand out like a black coffee stain on a white shirt, and should be awarded an Oscar bearing the proverbial inscription, “Every ass loves to hear himself bray.”

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Sowing the Wind

by on ·General, Lifestyle and Culture, Opinion, The Way I See It

Man-And-Woman-Are-Partners-37854079Some men father so many out-of-wedlock children by different women that they need a scorecard to keep up with all their baby mamas. The trend has become so prevalent that sociologists are calling the hit-it-and-run baby makers serial fathers. And they are not all athletes and entertainers. Many are minimum wage earners like the 33 year old Nashville, Tennessee man  who fathered 22 children by 14 women. Then, following his child support hearing, boasted that he has signed a deal for a reality TV show.

Wait a minute. Before men who are reading this start shouting, “Male bashing!” press the pause button while I put on my equal opportunity cap, and I’ll share information about us women.

A controversial study by Cassandra Dorius, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, reveals that “overall, 28% of women with two or more children had children by different men.” Not likely mentioned in the study is the Florida single mom with 15 children who, while on TV a few months ago after being evicted, naively asked, “Who’s gonna take care of all these kids?”

There is no parallel in these situations, and I am not judging. What I am doing is thinking — out loud and publicly — about how nontraditional relationships between people who are not related are sometimes resulting in nontraditional unions between relatives who are the offspring of those relationships. Follow me? If not, don’t worry, you’ll catch up.

The sexual revolution that began in the 1960’s irrefutably increased the acceptance of sex outside of marriage. Since then, intercourse for procreation has become secondary to sex for recreation, and in some cases children are often the unplanned result of those liaisons.

Having biological children with more than one partner is now as common as apps on Smartphones. Do you ever wonder about the potential consequences of so many blood relatives scattered all over?  Ever contemplate the probability of kinfolk unknowingly marrying each other? It happens.

It happened to Valerie Spruill who married her own father. The mother of three only learned the truth from a DNA test, six years after her husband died.

It happened to twins who were separated at birth, adopted by different parents, and only after they met as adults and married each other did they become aware of their blood relationship.

The whole issue of baby making –scattering seeds — is complicated, even for sperm donors. For all the good it does, sperm donor donations can subsequently wreck havoc on the lives of the children it produces and the donors themselves. Ask the man who unsuspectingly married his sister – if you can find him. He refuses to disclose his identity.

Or ask the sperm donor who produced a now four year old daughter for a lesbian couple and even after waiving his parental rights was still ordered to pay child support for his “good deed.”

There is a happy ending – or some might say beginning — for two Tulane University friends, both of whom have sperm donor fathers. They met in college and learned that they are actually half sisters.

You can bet your binky that there is a study underway somewhere to determine how often marriages occurred between siblings who didn’t know that they were related, whether they were conceived in the traditional way or through in vitro fertilization.  On the other hand, you will find people arguing against impropriety in relatives marrying, based on the premise that the world was populated through incest via Adam and Eve and their descendants, thereby making us all blood relatives. But that is a live wire and I’m leaving it alone.

Some people consider IVF as interference with God’s natural order and as sinful as fornication. Others argue that God has no problem with the former. One day, I thoughtlessly asked an atheist friend her thoughts on the issue and got an answer typical of her, “God who?”

I often wonder what will be the long term results of this seed scattering phenomenon. One thing is certain, everything we do is a cause set in motion and no matter how small the act may seem it will ultimately have an effect on everyone involved.

 

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