Browsing Category General

When Sparky Lost His Spark: A Dog Dies of a Broken Heart

Old ShepherdMy Aunt Sarah died over 16 months ago. During a recent conversation I had with her husband, my Uncle James, he shared with me a story about their dog’s unusual behavior following my aunt’s death.

As a dog lover, I’ve always been impressed with stories I’ve heard about the instincts and loyalty of animals and how some of them travel great distances to reunite with their owners. And research has proven that dogs have an innate sense of protection for the people with whom they live. After my uncle told me about their family dog’s performance following my aunt’s death, I am even more convinced that just as dogs are “man’s best friend” we are theirs also.

When my aunt died not only was she mourned by numerous relatives and friends who traveled from far and wide to celebrate her homegoing, unbeknownst to us her absence was also felt by her family owned German Shepherd named Sparky.

My aunt and uncle had owned Sparky for many years and although I never knew the dog’s precise age, I do remember him being a frisky, energetic young canine that could easily intimidate anyone entering my aunt and uncle’s yard. Back then, when my aunt saw our family arriving at her home and then backing away when the dog appeared from around the side of the house, her confident words before shooing him away, “He won’t bother you.”  didn’t make me feel any less afraid of that dog. It’s like a dog owner telling me, “He won’t bite.” and me thinking, “He’s got teeth, doesn’t he?” As I said, I do like dogs, providing they don’t frighten me. I remember being wary of Sparky even after he grew old and slow; because as is a dog’s nature, he was no less territorial.

Long before Sparky became a member of their household my aunt and uncle lived in New York City. After retiring from their jobs in the Big Apple, they built a spacious brick house on family-owned land in Eastern North Carolina, outside a small town with a Mayberry feel to it. Several feet across the lawn from my aunt and uncle’s place, within shouting distance, is an old wood frame house built by my grandparents during the period dominated by World War II. They lived there until their deaths. Grandpa, the town’s popular Baptist preacher, who I never had the pleasure of knowing, died in 1946. Grandma left us in 1987. I cherish memories of the wonderful times that my immediate family and I spent visiting between the two houses over the years when grandma was alive.  After grandma died, my aunt and uncle’s home became the primary gathering place for many family members on holidays, getaway weekends, and other occasions.

In the rear of those two houses, partially encircled by a forest, is the small, family cemetery, the final resting place for a number of our family members. It is a quiet place where the living who visit the gravesite can connect spiritually with our departed loved ones. Apparently, Sparky connected there, too. 

I will tell you Sparky’s story as my uncle told it to me. 

Continue Reading
2 Comments

Closure Completes the Puzzle

Blue puzzle with missing piece and light beam

Nearly a month ago, I wrote the previous post (titled Desperately Seeking Closure) about my friend, Kenny G, who was missing. Since then a few of my other friends and some blog readers have been asking if I have heard anything about Kenny. The answer is …

Yes. And the news is good. A week before my birthday, which occurred earlier this month, I received a card from Kenny G along with a note informing of his where about. How happy was I to learn that he is alive and well. On the eve of my birthday, I got a phone call from him. What a wonderful birthday gift. We talked for about 20 minutes and I learned that he is living in another city. To preserve his privacy, I will not disclose his location, but to alleviate the curiosity of any prophets of doom, I will say that no, he is not in jail nor hospitalized.

Nancy Bern, in her book Closure: The Rush to End Grief and What it Costs  writes that closure has been described as “justice, peace, healing, acceptance, forgiveness, moving on, resolution, answered questions, or revenge.” Drawing from her list I would say that I found resolution and answers. Not only did I learn that my friend is not dead as I feared he might be, but he is all right.  

While I have always empathized with anyone who I hear express a need for closure, especially when it involves their child or loved one, my recent personal experience has given me even deeper empathy for people who are facing that dilemma. And to add my own description to Bern’s list, I liken closure to inserting the final piece that completes a jigsaw puzzle over which one has agonized for way too long.

 

1 Comment

Desperately Seeking Closure

QuestionI think he’s dead. I don’t know for sure. I hope I’m wrong. What I do know is that he is missing. Not knowing what has happened to my friend has me in a quandary, so perhaps you’ll understand if I switch between speaking of him in the present and past tense.

In the years since we’ve been platonic friends, Kenny G – my nickname for him – rarely missed sending me a card for my birthday, Christmas, and other special occasions; or phoning me every few weeks just to keep in touch. For him not to send a Christmas Card or call me last month to say “Happy New Year!” was very unusual.

Although we attended the same high school — he was a few years ahead of me — and grew up blocks apart, we never actually met until 21 years ago; and over time we learned that we knew some of the same people from school and the old neighborhood.

The last time I saw Kenny G was a few weeks after his birthday last October, when he stopped by my home and visited for about half-an-hour with my beau and me. Before leaving he hugged me, shook hands with him, and said “See ya’ later.” to us. That was four months ago. Since then I have left several messages on his phone — the calls went straight to voice mail — and sent notes to his last known address, but received no reply.

Recently, while scrolling through my cell phone messages I discovered that

Continue Reading
0 Comments

Revisiting Olympic Moments — Present and Past

Peter Norman, Tommie Smith and John Carlos. Photo by Photobucket.

She/he was pretty in pink — stuntman, Gary Connery that is. When he parachuted from a helicopter into London’s Olympic stadium last Friday evening, disguised as 86 year old Queen Elizabeth II, Connery created quite an impressive opening for the 2012 Olympics.

Unless you’ve been living under a molehill during the past few days, then you know it’s that time again. It happens quadrennially. Millions of people worldwide eagerly watch and talk about the Olympic games. Not me. I’m no sports enthusiast and I’m not watching.  Occasionally, I’ll root for my home team during football season or, if the Williams sisters are playing in the tennis matches I’ll tune-in, but that’s the limit of my tolerance for sports. As far as I am concerned, a full week of 24/7 sporting events is overkill.   

I made it a point, however,  to watch this year’s Olympics opening, because after hearing about the excitement surrounding the opening in Beijing, four years ago, and later seeing some spectacular highlights on the news, I felt like I really missed an unprecedented event.  

Some events are impressive, but — in the larger scheme of things — they’re insignificant; others are unforgettable.

Rewind to the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City.

Black athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos won gold and bronze metals. When The Star Spangled Banner played, the two bowed their heads and raised their arm in a black gloved, clinched fist, Black Power salute. That action catapulted them into controversial history.

Smith and Carlos considered their gesture a show of support for human rights, but their deed stunned the stadium crowd and drew boos. And while the courageous duo were scorned by many in the U.S., they also garnered the praise of countless supporters, including the silver medalist, Australian Peter Norman, who supported Smith and Carlos while in Mexico, in their heroric strike against civil injustices.

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) President Avery Brundage was neither empathetic, nor forgiving. He considered the salute by the two Black athletes to be an inappropriate, political statement. Smith and Carlos were stripped of their medals, suspended from the U.S. team, and banned from the Olympic Village.

Back in America Smith and Carlos and their families faced death threats, lost jobs, and suffered various retaliatory actions that sent their life into a downward spiral that included the suicide of Carlos’ wife.

Time may heal all wounds, but it sometimes leaves deep scars. And, 0ccasionally, it brings restitution.

 In 2005, San Jose State University honored former students Smith and Carlos with a 22-foot high statue of their protest.

Peter Nelson, who had been a strong supporter of Smith and Carlos died in 2006 and his Black “brothers” served as his pall bearers. 

On July 30, 2012, a documentary, SALUTE, produced by Peter’s son, Matt, was released in honor of Smith, Carlos, and Norton. I enjoyed the 92 minute film and found it to be a touching, timely, and a well deserved tribute. It is available on DVD, some cable stations, and Amazon Instant Video.

 

0 Comments

Discerning Facebook Friends

Shades of Shakespeare!  To friend, or not to friend — that is the question.  And here is another one:  Do you know who your Facebook friends are?

I, like other Facebook patrons, get a number of friend requests, but I am careful about which friends I accept. My apprehension is reinforced when I read articles like Bianca Bosker’s Do I Know You? Fake Friends Adding Fresh Danger to Facebook.  The Huffington Post reporter’s story reinforces my mistrust of strangers — on and off line — and confirms what most of us know, that you must be careful who you friend.

Continue Reading
2 Comments