I want to get something off my chest, so I’ll get right to the point. When you see two women or two men hugging in public it does not necessarily mean that they are gay. To paraphrase an old Flip Wilson adage, “What you see is not always what you get.”
Here is the situation. A female friend and I were standing outside a small office building talking with Jim, a male business acquaintance. A trio of young male landscapers were working nearby. My friend, who I will call Gail, told Jim that she and I were in complete agreement on a business decision. Jim said “I know. I know you two always agree.” “Definitely!” Gail replied laughing, and then impulsively she grabbed and hugged me. During our brief embrace, I glanced over her shoulder and saw the landscapers watching us. Two of them exchanged telling glances and one of them smirked before turning his attention back to his task.
I am a very intuitive person and sensed that they were thinking that we must be lesbians, simply because we hugged. Gail and I are business partners as well as close friends. However, neither she nor I are lesbians, nor are we bisexual. In fact, we both are in fulfilling relationships with our male soul mates.
Some of you are probably wondering why did I feel so uncomfortable over what I believed the workmen must have been thinking? It’s because I am well aware that although many people say that they are receptive to alternative lifestyles, everyone is not. Some people, if they are honest, will tell you that they just pretend to go along with popular opinion in order to get along and not offend anyone.
I admit that I disapprove of the lifestyles of some people, but as long as they do not try to impose their way of life on me, then my philosophy is live and let live. In other words, don’t bother me and I won’t bother you. But as we all know, appearances can be deceiving. I admit to being self-conscious about how people perceive me. I am not homophobic. I am not a drug user. I am not a criminal. My point is — I do not want to be perceived as being any thing that I am not.
Undoubtedly, some people will think that I am blowing this issue of perception out of proportion. Perhaps I am. But unfortunately, so many in our society take everything at face value and readily jump to conclusions without knowing the facts. I do not want people prejudging me by an innocent act and then drawing a wrong conclusion about who I am.
Case in point – Let’s say that you do not have a racist bone in your body, but someone sees you interact with a person of a different race in a hostile manner. In your mind it is that particular individual who you dislike for whatever reason. Maybe that person was rude to you or you had a disagreement over something at some point. However, because the witness only knows what he or she sees, in the witness’s mind you dislike all people of that racial group. It is that witness’s perception. You do not want to be mistaken for a racist anymore than I want to be mistaken for a lesbian. Get the point? Whether you do or not, I feel better having gotten the issue off of my chest.