Would you believe your ambitious blogger has been MIA because her muse decided to take an unauthorized extended vacation? (I think Ms. Muse is on sabbatical, still trying to recover from last November 5.) Nevertheless, without even sending a postcard! POOF! She vanished like my willpower does when I enter an all-you-can-eat buffet!
So, nearly three weeks have passed, and my New Year’s blog post remains in “pending” status – until today. During my “drought” amidst my stagnation, a comforting thought emerged: When faced with the challenge of the blank page, grab a rich caffè mocha and lose yourself in the pages of a good book.
Thus, I’ve been swimming in my home library like Diana Nyad treads water in the Atlantic. Oh, the places books will take you. They are not mere bond volumes of paper and ink but portals to a vast world. Books are the ultimate transformer; they can slip one into the skin of any character. Become a superwoman or a wicked witch! They’re like little magic carpets that whisk you away faster than you can say, “Beam me up, Scotty, (so I can search for that darn muse!)”
It is a sad tragedy that my offspring somehow failed to inherit my bookworm genes. Neither of them is a voracious reader like I am. So, sometimes, I imagine with horror that my precious collection will end up in a landfill after I kick the bucket. Perish that thought. Hopefully, my book babies will find new homes through the charitable organizations I’ve been supporting.
But enough about my future literary estate planning! Let me turn to the matter at hand.
What to write about for my first post of the New Year? I considered climbing back up the family tree, but the last time I did that, I shook the branches too hard, and some leaves flew off and got bent out of shape. As I understand it, some of those leaves are still smoldering, like California wildfires.
So, while trying not to be the devil’s advocate, I’ve decided to be my own muse and explore a less volatile subject. And, speaking of the devil.
As one frequently grappling with profound questions about faith, I find myself at a crossroads between traditional religious beliefs and personal spiritual exploration.
My journey began in childhood when I walked into the living room one evening as my parents were watching a news report about the violence against civil rights workers. I innocently questioned the existence of evil in a world governed by an all-powerful God and asked my mother, “If God is all-knowing and powerful, why doesn’t he just wipe out the evil forces?”
She looked at me like I’d been playing hooky from Sunday school and then said, “We don’t question God,” which left me unsatisfied and curious about why we couldn’t seek answers from a divine parent.
As an adult, I still witness the prevalence of wickedness worldwide, which seems to have intensified since my youth. This observation leads me to revisit my earlier question with renewed urgency. Why can’t we question God and receive clear, unambiguous answers about the evilness in the world? (I ask the questions but don’t get comprehensible answers.)
I suspect others harbor similar doubts but are hesitant to express them, perhaps fearing divine judgment for merely entertaining the question. Yet, if God is truly omniscient, wouldn’t He already know our thoughts?
My spiritual journey has led me away from organized religion and towards a more personal, direct relationship with the divine. That’s why I identify as spiritual rather than religious, a stance some may dismiss as disingenuous. However, I find this approach authentic – striving to embody Christian values of compassion and humility in my daily life without adhering to rigid doctrines or rituals.
For the past few decades, I’ve chosen not to attend church, rejecting the notion of being a “part-time Christian” or a “Sunday Saint, Monday Sinner.” I acknowledge the complexity of faith, recognizing that one can feel blessed while still experiencing stress and doubt. The popular saying, “If you pray, why worry? And if you worry, why pray?” highlights the tension between faith and human nature.
While I believe in the power of prayer, I also grapple with the contradictions inherent in religious texts and teachings. Some might find my approach to Christianity as quasi-Christian or even agnostic. Nevertheless, I focus on living out the core teachings of Jesus Christ – treating others with kindness and respect – rather than strictly adhering to all Biblical scriptures, which – as I see it, are often contradictory and confusing. The spiritual path allows me to feel less hypocritical while navigating the complexities of faith.
Another reason I’ve chosen to distance myself from organized religion is due to its tendency to draw sharp boundaries and claim exclusive truth. I’ve witnessed the divisive potential of religious organizations, even within families. Instead, I embrace a more inclusive view, respecting various names and concepts of the divine across different faiths. Whatever you want to call your Omnipotent One – God, Jesus, Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, it’s all good.
My spiritual journey is continuous questioning, personal growth, and a commitment to living ethically and following the Golden Rule. As I seek the answers, I remain open to exploring life’s profound questions while striving to embody the values of compassion and humility in my interactions with others.
As we enter 2025, may God’s presence guide our every step and fill our hearts with hope, peace, and purpose. May His love surround us, His wisdom illuminate our path, and His strength sustain us through every challenge in the next four years and thereafter.