Quashing the Green-Eyed Monster

The way I see it, there is a little Green-Eyed Monster inside all of us.  It is more ferocious in some than others. At its worst, it has driven some people to do the unthinkable, but even at its best, the crafty beast has been known to cause intense rivalry among friends, co-workers, neighbors, and even within families.

The monster’s alias may not be recognizable to all, but many know it as “jealousy and envy.” It is a dual spirit that makes its vulnerable host covet the possessions, social status or advantages held by another person.  A willing participant in the monster’s game can be easily led to emotional or financial bankruptcy while trying to keep up with the Jones. Some conscientious folk refuse to be lured by old Green-Eyes, but egotists are easy prey and they eagerly play the game.

People are peculiar.  As long as they perceive that you are at the same social or economic level as they are, they have no problem, but as soon as you appear to gain a step up or veer in a different or more positive direction, the monster within the straggler awakens.

Picture a hypothetical family. Intermittently, forty-year old Harvey purchases a pricey new car, moves into a large house, and buys a 42 inch LCD TV. Harvey’s cousin, Abby, around the same age as Harvey refuses be outdone. Although she can barely afford it, she makes sure that their family and mutual friends know that she outdid Harvey, because she bought a more expensive car, a larger house, and a 46 inch Plasma.

Harvey’s younger sister Eloise is promoted to floor manager at the department store where she works, and immediately telephones her favorite Aunt Mabel to share her good fortune. She receives the expected well-wishes and “Congratulations!” from her aunt.  A couple of days later, Aunt Mabel’s crafty daughter, Genevieve , who thrives on one-upmanship, phones Eloise and causally mentions to her, “Oh, by the way, did I tell you that I was promoted to Vice President on my job”?  Need I say that the Green-Eyed Monster also encourages habitual lying?

People may criticize and judge you, but they don’t know what sacrifices you endured to get where you are. Jealousy and envy are not limited to any particular racial group, gender, class, or age. The Green-Eyed Monster runs across the board of humanity like a rabid dog. Self-confident people will refuse to nurture the fiend, but within the psyche of insecure people lays the angst that triggers intense rivalry, causing them to get so wrapped up in competitiveness that they fail to realize that tit-for-tat interplay is an unending contest. There will always be people who have more or less than others. Unless you are mired in the quicksand of self-deprecation and low self-esteem, all you need to do to quash the Green-Eyed Monster is to simply opt out of playing the game.

0 Comments

Fame – A Blessing or Albatross?

Imagine that you are just an average Jill or Joe going about your daily routine. On a typical day you are sitting in front of a computer, working in your office. Or you might be walking along a highway picking-up tin cans. Blink your eyes once, and then open them. Suddenly, you are spiraling in a sea of dozens of flashing lights and snapping cameras as numerous strangers simultaneously pull you in different directions while instructing you to do this and that, and rushing you here and there. Normalcy abruptly leaves your life.

Andy Warhol predicted that everyone would be “world famous for 15 minutes.” Life altering events can bring instantaneous fame to anyone in the blink of an eye, and the changes accompanying sudden notoriety can be a blessing or an albatross. While some bask in the limelight of discovery, others whose fame resulted from a heroic act unhesitatingly say to anyone within earshot, “I am not a hero.”   

Traditional heroes are renowned military, religious, or political figures who have held an extended and important role in history, but reluctant heroes are more like shooting stars. They are ordinary people who by a quirk of fate emerge on the scene for a short while. Then, in a matter of days or months they may vanish again into anonymity. Just as quickly as their name sprouts in our memory, it is soon forgotten.

Ted Williams, Daniel Hernandez, Lenny Skutnik, Mike Jones, Jack Whittaker. Will you remember who they are a year or two from now? Do you even know who they are today? Each of these people achieved instant fame, because they happened to be at a particular place at a specific time or they did something that ignited a major change in their life.

Ted Williams, a homeless man, held up a sign. Daniel Hernandez, an intern in the office of a U.S. Congresswoman helped save her life. Lenny Skutnik, a former public servant, jumped into the icy Potomac River and rescued a passenger following a plane crash. Security officer Mike Jones felled a gunman who was shooting at participants at a school board meeting. Jack Whittaker merely purchased a ticket and won $315 million in the Powerball lottery. The common factor among them is that they all garnered instant fame. With fame comes responsibility. It can be a shiny, double-edged sword generating abundant good fortune or spawning cumulative troubles.

0 Comments

Fame – A Blessing or Albatross?

Imagine that you are just an average Jill or Joe going about your daily routine. On a typical day you are sitting in front of a computer, working in your office. Or you might be walking along a highway picking-up tin cans. Blink your eyes once, and then open them. Suddenly, you are spiraling in a sea of dozens of flashing lights and snapping cameras as numerous strangers simultaneously pull you in different directions while instructing you to do this and that, and rushing you here and there. Normalcy abruptly leaves your life.

Andy Warhol predicted that everyone would be “world famous for 15 minutes.” Life altering events can bring instantaneous fame to anyone in the blink of an eye, and the changes accompanying sudden notoriety can be a blessing or an albatross. While some bask in the limelight of discovery, others whose fame resulted from a heroic act unhesitatingly say to anyone within earshot, “I am not a hero.”   

Traditional heroes are renowned military, religious, or political figures who have held an extended and important role in history, but reluctant heroes are more like shooting stars. They are ordinary people who by a quirk of fate emerge on the scene for a short while. Then, in a matter of days or months they may vanish again into anonymity. Just as quickly as their name sprouts in our memory, it is soon forgotten.

Ted Williams, Daniel Hernandez, Lenny Skutnik, Mike Jones, Jack Whittaker. Will you remember who they are a year or two from now? Do you even know who they are today? Each of these people achieved instant fame, because they happened to be at a particular place at a specific time or they did something that ignited a major change in their life.

Ted Williams, a homeless man, held up a sign. Daniel Hernandez, an intern in the office of a U.S. Congresswoman helped save her life. Lenny Skutnik, a former public servant, jumped into the icy Potomac River and rescued a passenger following a plane crash. Security officer Mike Jones felled a gunman who was shooting at participants at a school board meeting. Jack Whittaker merely purchased a ticket and won $315 million in the Powerball lottery. The common factor among them is that they all garnered instant fame. With fame comes responsibility. It can be a shiny, double-edged sword generating abundant good fortune or spawning cumulative troubles.

0 Comments

I Remember Nothing and Other Reflections: A Book Review

If you are a Baby Boomer who has found yourself wondering whether your memory has gone south like the rest of your anatomy, then read Nora Ephron’s hilarious book, I Remember Nothing and Other Reflections.  It may not lessen your disdain for age-related memory lapses, aka senior moments, but it will certainly give you a lift – pun intended – by injecting you with a healthy dose of comic relief.

Born in 1941, Ephron arrived five years too soon to be counted in the Census Bureau demographic study that would qualify her as a bona fide Baby Boomer.  However, since I found her book so entertaining, I am designating her on my blog, as an honorary Boomer.  A screenwriter, director, and brilliant author, Ephron has written numerous books, but her most recent publication is a side-splitting hardback that pokes fun at the forgetfulness that accompanies aging.  Have you ever had someone to tell you a tale and then say “You have to have been there”?  Well, although anyone with an ounce of humor can relate to the material in her book, Baby Boomers — who are there  — can definitely identify with many of  Ephron’s witticisms and wisdoms. 

The author is a clever wordsmith whose vignettes keep the reader smiling as she spins yarns about various periods of her development from childhood to her adult years; leaving you anxiously awaiting the punch line.  Her humor elicits chuckles in nearly every section of the book, but I found myself laughing aloud and reluctantly agreeing with the truth of some of her profound statements such as, “It is my experience that no one, but your closest friends care anything about your children.”  Or my absolute favorite, “You always think that a bolt of lightning is going to strike, and your parents will magically change into the people you wish they were, or back into the people they used to be, but they are never going to, and even though you know they are never going to you still hope that they will. “ 

Epron makes fun of herself as she candidly expresses her thoughts on organized religion, truth in journalism and — the recurring theme — memory loss.  The book contains about 140 pages and is a fast read.  I found it so enjoyable that I read it three times.  Want to get your laugh on?  When you are not reading this blog, read I Remember Nothing and Other Reflections – if you can remember to do so.

0 Comments