My two-cents worth and then some. An online journal by LP Brown.

Browsing Category The Way I See It

Sowing the Wind

by on ·General, Lifestyle and Culture, Opinion, The Way I See It

Man-And-Woman-Are-Partners-37854079Some men father so many out-of-wedlock children by different women that they need a scorecard to keep up with all their baby mamas. The trend has become so prevalent that sociologists are calling the hit-it-and-run baby makers serial fathers. And they are not all athletes and entertainers. Many are minimum wage earners like the 33 year old Nashville, Tennessee man  who fathered 22 children by 14 women. Then, following his child support hearing, boasted that he has signed a deal for a reality TV show.

Wait a minute. Before men who are reading this start shouting, “Male bashing!” press the pause button while I put on my equal opportunity cap, and I’ll share information about us women.

A controversial study by Cassandra Dorius, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, reveals that “overall, 28% of women with two or more children had children by different men.” Not likely mentioned in the study is the Florida single mom with 15 children who, while on TV a few months ago after being evicted, naively asked, “Who’s gonna take care of all these kids?”

There is no parallel in these situations, and I am not judging. What I am doing is thinking — out loud and publicly — about how nontraditional relationships between people who are not related are sometimes resulting in nontraditional unions between relatives who are the offspring of those relationships. Follow me? If not, don’t worry, you’ll catch up.

The sexual revolution that began in the 1960’s irrefutably increased the acceptance of sex outside of marriage. Since then, intercourse for procreation has become secondary to sex for recreation, and in some cases children are often the unplanned result of those liaisons.

Having biological children with more than one partner is now as common as apps on Smartphones. Do you ever wonder about the potential consequences of so many blood relatives scattered all over?  Ever contemplate the probability of kinfolk unknowingly marrying each other? It happens.

It happened to Valerie Spruill who married her own father. The mother of three only learned the truth from a DNA test, six years after her husband died.

It happened to twins who were separated at birth, adopted by different parents, and only after they met as adults and married each other did they become aware of their blood relationship.

The whole issue of baby making –scattering seeds — is complicated, even for sperm donors. For all the good it does, sperm donor donations can subsequently wreck havoc on the lives of the children it produces and the donors themselves. Ask the man who unsuspectingly married his sister – if you can find him. He refuses to disclose his identity.

Or ask the sperm donor who produced a now four year old daughter for a lesbian couple and even after waiving his parental rights was still ordered to pay child support for his “good deed.”

There is a happy ending – or some might say beginning — for two Tulane University friends, both of whom have sperm donor fathers. They met in college and learned that they are actually half sisters.

You can bet your binky that there is a study underway somewhere to determine how often marriages occurred between siblings who didn’t know that they were related, whether they were conceived in the traditional way or through in vitro fertilization.  On the other hand, you will find people arguing against impropriety in relatives marrying, based on the premise that the world was populated through incest via Adam and Eve and their descendants, thereby making us all blood relatives. But that is a live wire and I’m leaving it alone.

Some people consider IVF as interference with God’s natural order and as sinful as fornication. Others argue that God has no problem with the former. One day, I thoughtlessly asked an atheist friend her thoughts on the issue and got an answer typical of her, “God who?”

I often wonder what will be the long term results of this seed scattering phenomenon. One thing is certain, everything we do is a cause set in motion and no matter how small the act may seem it will ultimately have an effect on everyone involved.

 

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Remembering Days of Auld Lang Syne

by on ·Holidays, Nostalgia, The Way I See It

bigstock-Happy-New-Year-2331638You mean it’s New Year’s Eve again?  So soon? Where did the time go? Where did the year go? I must be imagining that only minutes have passed since I switched off the TV at the conclusion of New Year’s Rockin’ Eve 2012, and then mislaid the remote somewhere between the top sheet and the Christmas colored comforter before killing the lamp on the nightstand.

Now 2014 is in my face, and as I often do at year’s end I am reminiscing about New Year’s Eves past – like December 31, 1968.

I can see it now. It is early evening, and my husband and I are squashed among the throng of curb-to-curb people who are huddling in Times Square. Everyone is layered up, wrapped down, and shivering in the frigid, below 30 temperature. I’m guessing that many, like me, are earnestly wishing that the thermometer would rise as we wait for the ball to drop. Occasionally, hubby and I try to wiggle through the crowd, to move around, just to warm our feet. But the closer it gets to the witching hour, the more difficult it is to budge, so we root ourselves in a spot with a good vantage point. To kill time we make small talk with others around us. Everyone is in a festive mood.

And finally it happens. A large crystal ball begins slowly descending the pole from the roof of One Times Square. It illuminates the night sky. And the revelers begin enthusiastically counting down to midnight.

As the clock strikes 12 the celebration begins. People are joyfully shouting and singing. Blow-out horns and other noisemakers reverberate throughout the square and there is plenty of hugging and kissing among lovers — and probably some strangers, too. Rumor has it that kissing someone on the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve will strengthen the bonds of your relationship.  Don’t you believe it.

All things considered, New Years Eve in Times Square is an enchanted evening and the magic lingers on in your memory.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year! 

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To Hug or Not to Hug

by on ·Lifestyle and Culture, Opinion, The Way I See It

schoolgirl--51689332When I was a child, a hug from my teacher was comforting and encouraging. Giving a hug to a favorite teacher showed my appreciation. But today conscientious teachers are afraid to touch or be touched by students. What’s more, a student displaying physical affection toward a teacher or another student could face suspension.

Such was the case on December 3, when Sam McNair, a 17-year-old high school senior in Duluth, Georgia, was suspended for sexual harassment because he hugged his teacher. A week earlier, six year old first grader, Hunter Yelton, was suspended from a Colorado school for kissing his female classmate on the hand. Following a wave of negative publicity, the Colorado school system lifted the suspension. People tend to regard the action of the six year old as innocent and impulsive, but some are less forgiving of the high school senior.

I queried a few teachers on the subject and have summarized their views below. To protect their privacy, I’ve used bullets instead of names to represent each teacher’s remarks. Here is what they had to say.

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So You Want to be a Writer

by on ·General, Opinion, The Way I See It

Publishing-Contract-30036044If you are looking for advice from an expert who has spent years studying and teaching writing you’re on the wrong blog. I am no expert. I am a freelance writer. In the ocean of prominent authors, I am a minnow. But while the big fish swim circles around me, I don’t cringe.

Writing is my passion and words are my pearls. Apparently, I string them together adequately — most of the time, because over the years I have been fortunate enough to have had articles printed in various publications including The Washington Post. In addition to my essays, I’ve had enough Letters to the Editor and opinion pieces in print to paper at least one wall in my den. Rejection slips from my perceived prize winning compositions could cover the opposite wall. Aside from college English and writing courses, I’ve had no formal training, but I’ve had excellent mentors including my friends Walter Kiplinger and Alex Lajoux. For the past four years, I’ve been happily blogging on my own websites. Hopefully, I have eliminated any pretentiousness, and I will now tell you what I know about writing and how I do it.

Writing well requires practice. Decide for yourself whether you want to write news articles, fiction, poetry, speeches, or whatever. The field is wide open. Just write. Write. Write. And write often. That practice makes perfect is no lie. I write on a variety of subjects and get ideas at any time or place; so much so that I keep a small notebook and pen handy to jot down things to write about as they occur to me.

As you write, keep in mind that your composition may require that you validate details. When I write, I fact check like a research junkie.  I also take pains to ensure the accuracy of grammar, punctuation, and spelling. After I’ve finished my final draft, I proofread it multiple times, and when necessary I cut wordiness like a pathologist dissecting a multilated corpse. Okay, perhaps that description was a bit melodramatic, but I enjoy spicing my writing with a bit of color and humor.

After you write your manuscript and submit it for publication, you can bet your binky that it will be critiqued with an eagle eye. Any piece that is fraught with grammatical errors, misspelled words and obvious impractical facts will go directly into the recycle bin. But if it is acceptable, someone from the editorial staff will likely contact you and ask you to swear on a stack of emails that what you wrote is your own creation and was not plagiarized nor published elsewhere at any time. If you truthfully answer yes, then voila!

The subject of writing well requires many more words than I can squeeze into a single post. So look for me to expand on this subject in the future. My bottom line, humble advice, is this:  make sure that what you write is original, error free, and accurate – your integrity is on the line.

Oh, one last tip – if you want to learn to write well, it helps to be an avid reader.

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Truth and Consequences

by on ·Race Matters, The Way I See It

This commentary was co-written with a gentleman who chooses to remain anonymous.

N-word--15952934Truthfulness, sincerity, and honesty are qualities to which conscientious people aspire. In fact, the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution affords us the right to speak the truth; and a court deposition – like that which brought an outcry of “foul” to Paula Deen –requires an oath or affirmation of truth.

Deen is paying the price for her decision to be truthful about her past use of the “N Word.” She has been dropped by the Food Network and will likely lose other endorsements, because big businesses do not always appreciate honesty and loyalty from its promoters or consumers. Many organizations perceive their employees as mere pawns used to generate profits, and those pawns are quickly disposed of when their words or actions threaten a potential loss of profits.

Deen chose to be truthful about something that occurred in her distant past and — just like that — the very industry that celebrated her dropped her like a hot potato in order to distance itself and avoid financial repercussions. I commend Deen for speaking the truth, but shake my head at her naivety in trusting an intolerable and hoggish capitalized society.

Sides are being taken on the issue of Paula Deen’s use of the “N Word.” If truth be told there are numerous Caucasians in all walks of life who use that word in the privacy of their home or among their close friends and trusted co-workers. Deen admitted to using the word, and for being truthful she faces the consequences. We live in a hypocritical society, where pretence brings more rewards than honesty and truth; and where it is better to pretend to go along for the sake of getting along, then to risk being ostracized and penalized by a public where political correctness is the rule of the day and the so-called “new norm” sets the standard.

What is very troubling about this matter is the fact that it is acceptable for some people to indiscriminately use the “N word” while others are ostracized for it. Is the use of the word “Reserved” for use only by a select group?

Do I think Deen should have been fired from the Food Network and then figuratively stoned? No.  Do I dislike hearing that word with all of its negative connotations being used at all? Yes.

Paula Deen will not sink into poverty because she loses a few endorsements, but she may be distraught because she told the truth. Any white people who may decide in the future to admit to using the word consider this (and I am paraphrasing an old cliché): “It is better to be thought to be a racist, than to open your mouth and be accused of being one.”

 

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