Posts Written By L Parker Brown

Activism is Nothing to Laugh About

“A sense of humor helps us to get through the dull times, cope with the difficult times, enjoy the good times and manage the scary times.” Steve Goodier

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Most people enjoy a good laugh. Unfortunately, it gets more difficult every day to maintain a sense of humor when horrific events, like yesterday’s violence in Charlottesville, and regularly occurring acts of evil worldwide, lead us to think that there is nothing to laugh about. Nevertheless, we must laugh whenever it is practical to do so, because without laughter, love, empathy, and the belief that there is a Supreme Being maintaining a balance between good and evil we have nothing but an unending feeling of dread and hopelessness.

I strive to write blog posts that are lighthearted, but following the tragic and senseless death of one the counter-protesters in Charlottesville, I felt compelled to write this post, for people who wonder why activists do what they do.

As a full-time protester-at-heart and a parttime-activist in reality, I feel tremendous empathy for activists. I’ve participated in my share of rallies, protest marches, and other cause-related activities. Unlike my friend, Linda Leaks, whose years of social action and experience give her license to write an encyclopedia on activism, I would do well to put together a small handbook on the subject.

My most recent participation in a cause-related event was the Women’s March on Washington which occurred on January 21, 2017, and drew an estimated 500,000 participants. Of all the events that I’ve participated in the one that required me to conjure up the most courage was when I joined numerous counter-demonstrators protesting a march and rally by a faction of the KKK who traveled from North Carolina to rally in Washington, DC in October 1990. Thanks to the counter-protesters the march never took place. Instead, to keep the two groups apart, mid-route, law enforcement officers loaded the Klansmen onto a bus and drove them to the capitol grounds where their rally took place.

I was first bitten by the protest bug while in high school. One of my two best friends (her first name is also Loretta) and I were circulating a petition asking that students be allowed to wear sneakers to school. Back in those “prehistoric years” of the late 1960s although DC schools had a casual dress code including appropriate footwear, students were not allowed to wear what we called tennis shoes to school. I don’t recall how many student signatures Loretta and I had acquired before a voice came over the PA system ordering the two of us to come to the principal’s office. We were given an order by the assistant principal to cease-and-desist, thereby putting an early end to my initiation into the world of peaceful protest.

In the decades after that, I’ve circulated my share of petitions and taken part in various demonstrations, marches, walks, and rallies. A number of the protests were to end homelessness, including nearly a dozen years of walking in the annual Fannie Mae Hammer homeless walk, and at least one march with homeless activist, the late Mitch Snyder. I also occasionally helped serve meals to the homeless residents of CCNV. I have walked for the cause of Breast Cancer prevention, Autism, Osteoporosis and Justice for Trayvon Martin, and in the 50th Anniversary March on Washington.

I think the fact that I’ve lived all of my life in a city where politics is the center of activity and because I have several lack-minded friends it has played a part in my desire to “do something.”

I applaud the counter-protesters who stepped-up to the plate in Charlottesville, and I pray for those injured and Heather Heyer, the young woman who lost her life.

If you’d like to learn more about why people choose to become activists, check out an excellent article published in Psychology Today titled “What Makes An Activist.”

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Examining the Good, Bad and Ugly Side of Who You Know

UntitledIt’s not what you know; it’s who you know. Before I was old enough to hold a job or understand the meaning of that statement, I heard it lobbed around often enough to be a team sport. And the ball remains in play.

A frustrated acquaintance recently said to me, “Someone can be as dumb as a doornail and get placed into a prominent position, or as smart as Einstein and be unemployed because he or she lacks the connections that Doornail has.”

I know numerous people who will attest to the fact that when it comes to employment, you don’t necessarily need skill, talent or brains to land a good job; not if you have connections. This is not to imply that education, abilities, and knowledge are unimportant. In fact, those qualities are essential for people who don’t “know someone.” But this post is not about folks who get what they want by going through the standard process. It’s about the advantage of knowing someone with pull, someone who can open doors for you; someone who can help you skip the usual process and get what you want.

If there is any place in the world where the maxim holds true, it’s in the Nation’s Capital where power-players rule. Take a walk along K Street, Pennsylvania Avenue, or any place in the city’s business district and the smell of nepotism and cronyism is stronger than rotting fish. But the who-you-know principle is not only applicable to powerbrokers and political bigwigs; it can work for anyone who knows the right people.

When I was a child, on a few occasions my dad took me to see the Washington Senator’s baseball team play at Griffith Stadium. Back then, it was easier for a poor black person to score big in the illegal numbers racket than to get tickets to a sporting event at the stadium. Nevertheless, dad occasionally got tickets to the ballgames from his brother, Al, who received them from his then boss, who owned a string of parking lots in the city. Point – dad knew someone who knew someone.

Then there was the time, as a young adult, when I was hired to work as a secretary/receptionist, in a small office with one other woman. I will call her Angela. Perhaps because we were very close in age after she hired me, Angela and I became fast friends, and I soon became her confidant. She told me that she used to be the secretary for the man who was president of the organization where we were employed. Let’s call him Mr. Doe. When the company, headquartered in another city, opened a branch office in DC, Mr. Doe placed Angela in the position of vice president and office manager of the new office.

During the first several months that I worked there, I watched Angela struggling (some would call it  ‘fronting’) during meetings and fretting afterward.  She would (figuratively) cry on my shoulder and saying how inept she felt when interacting with the more knowledgeable executives from other firms. She may have also cried on the shoulder of her former boss because eventually, Mr. Doe hired another person (another vice president who I will call Julie). I think Mr. Doe’s plan and that of other officials at headquarters was that Julie would serve as a buffer for Angela while she learned the specifics of the industry.

It soon became evident that Julie knew her job very well, too well. Clients began praising Julie to Angela, Mr. Doe and others at the firm. Unbeknownst to Julie, the more accolades she received the more insecure it made Angela feel.

Angela’s obvious envy of Julie led her to begin concocting lies that resulted in Julie’s firing within the year. This is not hearsay, I watched the drama unfold and to this day regret that I did not speak up for Julie for fear of losing my job. That’s water under the bridge now; but being older and wiser today, if I saw Julie or anyone else getting thrown under the bus, I would speak up on their behalf.

Angela was hired for a job for which she had no qualifications by someone who pulled strings to get her in that spot. Had she been required to follow procedure and apply for the VP position like other applicants, most likely her lack of credentials and experience would have prevented her from jumping directly from a secretarial position to VP.

Knowing the right people can not only give you access to jobs, high-demand tickets to concerts and sporting events, it may also get you access to covetable social functions. Keep in mind, if you know the right people, and you lack the chutzpa of the Salahis (The husband and wife gatecrashed a White House dinner in 2009, despite not being on the official guest list.), with the right connections, you may get to socialize with high profile personalities at an event to which you weren’t officially invited.

One day, a few years after I had left the job mentioned above, an associate gave me a ticket to a $500 a plate fundraiser luncheon that was taking place at one of DC’s finest hotels. You read it right — $500 a plate. My benefactor, a lawyer, and smart businesswoman was married to a prominent man in local government. While offering me the ticket, she told me that she would not be able to attend the luncheon because an important meeting had been scheduled after she purchased the ticket, and she needed to be at that meeting. When she sensed my hesitancy to accept the gift, she said, “It’s an excellent networking opportunity for an upward mobile young woman.” I accepted the ticket and attended the luncheon.

Sometimes, I think that God assigned the Guardian Angel of Opportunity to look after me because throughout my lifetime I’ve been fortunate to meet many people –prominent and ordinary — with connections who have helped me along the way.

In an excellent article published in Psychology Today, Dr. Fredric Neuman wrote, “I like to think that competence is the most important determinant of professional success.” I agree with Dr. Neuman, but knowing people or knowing people who know people is an asset too.

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Contemplating Blogging?

Blogging 101-1Anyone can start a blog. If you can write, you can blog. If you write well, you can have a loyal readership of your blog.

For you readers who are interested in starting a blog but don’t know where to begin, there are numerous bloggers that will give you detailed and lengthy instructions on creating a blog and possibly making lots of money with it. Google them. However, if you are pressed for time and prefer my two-minute pitch on getting started continue reading.

  1. The first thing you do is find a blogging platform. That’s a service that will publish your content on the Internet. There are several free blogging platforms out there including Blogger, Tumblr, Ghost, and one of the most popular — the one I use for each of my websites — WordPress.
  1. After you’ve decided on a platform, choose a domain name. Your domain name is your web or network address. Think of it as an on-line street address that will help people find you. Choosing a name that is short and memorable is the best way to go, and the name should be relevant to the content of your blog. If you need help selecting a domain name, there are sites like godaddy.com that will assist you for a cost.
  1. Once you’ve selected a domain name, you’ll pay a small charge to register it. You will also pay an annual renewal fee to keep your blog up and running. If you’ve gone that far, then you probably already know what content you want on your blog. So, now decide how you want your blog to look. If you are a new blogger, follow the KISS principle – Keep It Simple, Sugar. (I threw you a curve with that acronym, didn’t I?)
  1. Design your blog. You can design your own blog using the software associated with the platform you chose, or you can have someone design it for you. Depending on the purpose of your blog and how you want it to look, you could spend a few dollars to get a practical site up and running or hire a designer who will charge a few hundred dollars for a custom designed blog with impressive bells and whistles.

The amount you spend to set-up your blog depends on your objective. There are countless types of blogs. Do you want one that will promote your business, provide consumer information, inspiration, or guidance, or do you want a figurative soapbox on which to express your thoughts and personal opinions? A personal blogger, that’s me. Keep in mind if you choose the latter and are an opinionated person like yours truly, you may attract followers who enjoy reading your posts, but you will also attract people who disagree with you and won’t hesitate to say so in the comments section. (Virtual haters, begone!).

Remember – it’s YOUR blog. Your blog is your voice; meaning you can rave about things you like or bitch about things you dislike. Providing that you don’t write anything that will have you nervously twitching in court while facing a lawsuit, or land you in jail for a social media offense because you took the First Amendment literally, then you are good to go.

Through your blog, you’ll make contacts that you might not otherwise make. Over the years, I have connected with and become friends with a few good bloggers. I follow their blogs. They read mine. Next thing you know, as a result of our online interactions, we’re exchanging emails, discussing ideas, and even sharing funny stories or other tidbits about our families.

In my opinion, the hardest thing about blogging is coming up with interesting topics. Sometimes I write about current events, and my hot topic — politics. Other times I share more personal thoughts and feelings. Whatever your topic, you cannot be timid about taking a stance on what are sometimes contentious issues. You never know who is reading you.

Two cases in point:

  • In September of 2012, Dr. Sydney Ross Singer, medical anthropologist and author of several health books commented on a post I wrote about how women feel about wearing bras. He emphasized that “chronic constriction from bras is a leading cause of breast cancer.”
  • Last year, my post about not being a bandwagon person brought a tongue-lashing comment from one of my readers who implied that I was a bigot. (That shoe doesn’t fit.) The comment was longer than my post. So be it. I had expressed my opinion. The anonymous commenter expressed his or hers.

If you are determined to maintain your position even though it means going against the grain of prevalent opinion, don’t expect to win a popularity contest. And don’t worry about whether everyone will agree with what you write because not everyone will. Just like on Facebook, you’ll learn to accept flattery with humility and take criticism like a referee booed for making a bad call during a Superbowl game.

Blogging will give you plenty of writing practice. To date, I have posted over 400 blogs. You may also acquire new skills like understanding the difference between a theme, plugin, and widget.

My two minutes are up. If this post wets your appetite, then go ahead and blog. And while you are enjoying it, keep in mind the wisdom of a fellow blogger who wrote, “A blog can help you build a legacy that will outlive you.”

 

 

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Politics Makes Strange Bedfellows

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“Politics makes strange bedfellows.” Charles Dudley Warner 

I am a huge fan of political programs. Although I realize that politics and political discussion is a lightening rod for some folks, sometimes I like to talk about it anyway with close friends and associates.

This morning I was watching “#AMJoy” on MSNBC. Host, Joy Reid, held a discussion with Rep. Cedric Richmond (D-LA), Chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC). Primarily, the topic concerned the refusal of the CBC to meet with 45 at the White House. Rep. Richmond stated that although some members of the caucus may meet with Trump individually, the caucus as a whole will not.

Citing that the CBC is working to address serious issues, Rep. Richmond said, “We don’t have time to be part of a social gathering and unorganized meeting with 50 or 60 people.” He further asserted that “the Trump administration has taken steps to hurt the black community.” Cuts in social programs and other obscured activities will not only encumber numerous black people, but programs beneficial to underprivileged and medium income people of all races are on the chopping block. Apparently, CBC members are concerned that a meeting at the White House would be nothing more than a disguised photo opportunity for 45.

Omarosa Magigault, the Big O in the White House aka Omarosa, accuses members of the CBC of “showboating.” Previously a contestant on Trump’s TV reality program “Apprentice” Omarosa now has a position in the White House and an official title as director of communications for the Office of Public Liaison. Far beyond the White House fence, some people view her simply as the HSICN (head sister in charge of nothing) put in place merely as a puppet to give the illusion that 45 desires to bridge a perceptible widening racial divide.

Although other black celebs, among them, Jim Brown, Bob Johnson, and Steve Harvey, have raised eye-brows and fallen into disfavor with some black people for meeting with Trump, none seem to incur as much ire as the Big O.

Omarosa alleges that by declining to meet with Trump, CBC leaders are ignoring their opportunity to address issues relevant to the black community. On the other hand, her adversaries disregard anything and everything that the Big O says. They see her merely as a fish out of water that, over time, flip-flopped from being a scheduler for Al Gore in the Clinton Administration to what one associate refers to as a “contemporary female version of Stepin Fetchit” in the White House.

Sometimes it’s best to avoid lightening strikes whenever possible.

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Tough Love: Reflecting on the Sadness of Mother’s Day after Mother’s Gone

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Mother in her youth.

I’ve always liked Mother’s Day. Next to Christmas, it’s my favorite widely celebrated day.

When I was a child, in elementary school we kids made Mother’s Day cards and sometimes simple little gifts, like plasters of our hand for our moms. When I grew older and began purchasing cards, I’d spend significant time at the card display in the store trying to choose just the right card, the perfect card, for my mom. Mom always expressed glee and appreciation for the cards, flowers, and gifts I gave her each year.

Fast forward a few decades and my middle-aged mom, daughter of a Southern Baptist minister, joined a religious group that refuses to acknowledge what they call pagan holidays, including Mother’s Day. Regardless, I continued to purchase cards and gifts for my mother. Sometimes I offered to take her out to a Mother’s Day lunch or brunch, but she refused, saying “You know that we don’t observe Mother’s Day.”

My polite response to her was always, “But, mother, I DO observe it. And I only have one mother.”

My unspoken but resolute thought was, and as long as I have a mother, I will continue to observe Mother’s Day. I was determined that no (what I perceive to be cult-like) religion was going to interfere with my relationship with my mom.

The irony is that although mother frequently reminded me of her allegiance to her adopted faith, she never refused to accept the cards or flowers I sent. Perhaps purposely showing me her reluctance, she didn’t gush over the gifts the way she had done in the early years, but nevertheless, she accepted them — offering no fuss, no gush, just a simple “Thank you, Lo.”

“You’re welcome,” I said. Perhaps at some point we had reached an unexpressed compromise.

I continued sending my mother Mother’s Day cards until 2014, the year she died.

I won’t expound here on the resentment I feel for a purported religious group that instead of strengthening family ties dictates silly doctrines to rip them apart. My close friends and family members know exactly how I feel about that, so I won’t harp on it here.

Now, it’s Mother’s Day again, and my heart aches for my mom. In spite of our disagreements on so many things – and our resolute similarities, like stubbornness – we loved each other. And I miss her. Happy Mother’s Day, mom.

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