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Crybaby

Very strong Image Of a afro American woman Crying isolated on BCall me a crybaby. I accept that. I’ve been turning on the waterworks since childhood. Don’t misunderstand. I’m not talking about infancy when all babies communicate that they are hungry, need changing or are otherwise discontent over something. I was a grade-schooler when – get ready – I turned on the waterworks over a television program.

Depending on the circumstance, I’ve been comforted, teased, or criticized for shedding tears. When I weep over a devastating event or at a funeral, there are usually others commiserating with me, so unless I become hysterical (I only lost it once), my tears don’t raise eyebrows. On the other hand, witnessing someone else’s joyous moment, like a wedding or a long-awaited reunion, could make me grab a Kleenex and wipe happy tears. Feelings of extreme anger or deep stress might produce a small waterfall. A tearjerker movie could cause a Tsunami. I am an equal opportunity crier.

I’ve discovered that a lot of people are uncomfortable around crybabies. I first realized this when I was around ten years old. I remember it like it was yesterday. I am sitting alone in the living room watching an adventure film. Everything is fine until the handsome male lead is captured and blinded by the bad guys. As the villains continue torturing the protagonist with a hot branding iron, my dad walks into the room and sees me frowning at the screen with tears streaming down my face. Immediately concerned he asked, “What’s wrong with you?”

Fighting to close the floodgates, I turn my watery eyes toward dad and whimper, “They are killing him.”

Perhaps not knowing how to handle the situation caused dad discomfort, because he rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and left the room shaking his head side-to-side and grumbling. “Crying over a stupid TV show. Don’t make no sense.”

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When Lurkers are Lurking

There is a saying, “If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.” This post has nothing to do with dogs. However, I have a bone to pick with Internet lurkers.

Do you know someone, perhaps a next door neighbor who spends time at home peeping out of the window, from behind the curtains, spying on other people; being careful to see without being seen? Lurkers are much like that curious neighbor except they are online. They spend considerable time observing the content on blogs, in chat rooms, and other social networking sites, but they never make a contribution or interact.

Facebook lurkers are probably the coyest. They read our posts. They look at our

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Draw Back Your Bow

Cupid archer and roses.Valentine’s Day is on the way out. I can see it coming. I think it’s a matter of time before PC advocates and Valentine’s Day haters put a lead-tipped arrow through cupid’s heart. (Someone please call 911 and resuscitate.)

My informal and impartial study (and the haters hotline) reveal that a lot of people – mostly single women who are not in a relationship and unhappily married ones – dislike Valentine’s Day. V-D is tough on some women. I get it. I’ve been there. During my lifetime, I’ve had my share of forgettable Valentine’s Days. Nevertheless, I still enjoy seeing the lover’s holiday celebrated and even if I disliked it I would not want it banished. Why destroy the joy for others?

Across the gender line, some men say they like Valentine’s Day as much as

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The Music Box

Since publishing, Legacy, I keep thinking of other things that I wish I had included in the book. Discussions with some of my relatives also inspire ideas. One day, I may have to do as one cousin suggested, write Legacy II.

One thing that I might have written about, but didn’t is the music box. I recall seeing it while grandma was alive, but can’t remember if she kept it on the shelf of a small corner knickknack or on top of the old floor model TV. As far as I know, there isn’t anything special about the music box. It’s merely a keepsake for me. I received it, courtesy of a thoughtful aunt, who gave it to me after grandma died. “Just so you can have something that belonged to her,” she said.

Until a few weeks ago, when I was housecleaning, I had forgotten that I had the music box. I rediscovered it when I pulled a small cardboard box out of the closet. On top of numerous other odds and ends inside the box was the dusty music box. After glancing over the contents of the storage box, I hastily decided that I didn’t need any of the stuff and dumped all of it into a trash bag that I had placed on the floor near the closet. I picked up the strings, shook the bag a couple of times and was preparing to tie it up when the music box began playing a few notes. And then it stopped. Perhaps while shaking the bag, I had jarred the wind-up mechanism. I opened the bag, reached inside, removed the music box and then wiped off the dust on one pant leg of the old blue jeans that I was wearing for the cleanup. It was then that I remembered to whom the box had belonged.

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The Warmth of a Hug

In a city where politicians rule and the power handshake is the customary greeting, I am probably an anomaly. I am a hugger.

I hug my relatives. I hug my neighbors. I’ve been known to hug co-workers and, depending on the circumstances, I sometimes hug people who I meet for the first time.

Just as the nod of Namaste recognizes a divine spark within each of us, a sincere hug, like a genuine smile, is a heart-generated gesture. It is a brief, spirit-to-spirit connection between the giver and the receiver that non-verbally expresses a range of emotions. And according to psychologist, Dr. Joe Rock, research shows that a hug not only “breaks down some of the barriers that can make us feel detached,” they also have a therapeutic effect.

There are plenty of people like me for whom hugging comes naturally, and there are people who aren’t huggers at heart. The latter often will not initiate a hug and will return one simply to avoid hurting the other person’s feeling. Sadly and perhaps unbeknownst to the reluctant hugger, a non-reciprocal hug can feel as empty as a limp handshake.

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