Since returning from the recent funeral of my beloved Aunt Sarah, I have been thinking a lot about funerals and family reunions. For all practical purposes funerals are held to pay respect, to remember, and to give a formal send-off to a loved one. Some families arrange the service to be a vibrant, joyful home-going, while others acknowledge the occassion with a solumn, low-keyed ceremony. Nevertheless, I don’t know a soul who enjoys attending funerals.
In spite of the undesirable circumstances, a funeral creates an opportunity for extended family members, who might not otherwise see each other, to get together. In some ways it is a spontaneous family reunion. Families that live far away from the funeral site fly in or drive long distances to get to there. Then, they stay only long enough to attend the service and depart as quickly as they arrived. Consequently, the short trip leaves little time for socializing. And invariably before the groups of mourners disperse, someone can be heard telling others, “It’s too bad that we only get together on sad occasions. We should have a family reunion.”
A lot of folks hold family reunions annually. Others do it less frequently. And as I have learned from some of my friends, some families never have reunions. On my father’s side, the family reunion is held every year. On my mother’s side, there were two reunions held in the 1990s and the last Staton family reunion was held in August 2002.
Family reunions are often planned months in advance and may last a few days. They will take place at the original homestead or most likely at some other designated venue. For most it is an enjoyable occasion that allows time for family members to reconnect and visit concurrently with kinfolk and invited friends. Much time is spent mingling, laughing together and retelling family stories. There are often numerous fun-filled activities on the agenda, something for everyone. Some activities at the previous Staton family reunions included volley ball games, a cook out in the park, and playing bid whist in the hotel hospitality suite. We also enjoyed a fashion show and a talent show featuring members of the family. A favorite activity for most of the participants was pigging-out on delicious foods at the banquet dinner and boogying on the dance floor afterward. Who doesn’t look forward to doing the Electric Slide, The Wobble, or some other popular line dances? Even family members (like me) with no rhythm whatsoever have fun trying those moves.
When you haven’t seen relatives for a few years, aging seems more obvious. Unless someone has undergone major plastic surgery, we all generally look slightly – or sometimes considerably – older than the last time we saw each other. Women change our hairstyles. Men grow mustaches and beards. We gain or lose weight. We all age.
A few years of estrangement can deliver a you-are-aging reality check quicker than a kiosk computer can spit out an E- ticket. So, at one of the primary reunion activities it is always a good idea to do an around-the-room introduction of everyone present. This cuts down on the time some family members will spend casting sidelong glances at others while whispering to the person beside them, “Who is that over there?” And getting a reply like, “That’s your second cousin Wilma Jane’s half-brother’s niece.” The family reunion is often a fun-filled, memorable occasion that ends on a happy note.
And after the family gathering — unlike the funeral service — as the relatives begin their departures there will be no need for anyone to say, “We should have a family reunion.”