You Might Be a Baby Boomer if . . .

Listen up, Boomers. My other site – – is getting more traffic than a shopping mall on Black Friday. All right, I confess, that’s because I have been spending a lot more time over there. I was told by a source (In case you are having a senior moment, that’s the term that journalists use when they don’t want to reveal who told them whatever it is that they are about to tell everyone else). So as I was saying, I was told by a source that I need to make the subject matter on this site more interesting by talking about sports (boring) or sex (appealing) or booty shaking videos featuring 10 year old girls (perverted). Nevertheless, I realize that I will have to get creative to hold on to my Baby Boomer readers.

Boomers are an active and resilient group, who resent being referred to as the Geritol crowd. We also dislike being stereotyped as old geezers and frisky cougars. Some of us may be (wink), but not all. Let’s not forget that there are two sets of Boomers. You have the senior Boomers born between 1946 and 1955. They have reached that bold age where they will do whatever they want, say whatever they want, and flip you a bird with an arthritic finger if you don’t like it. Then you have your younger Boomers, in the 1956-1964 crowd. Unfortunately, many of them are in denial — busily trying to pass themselves off as older Generation Xers.  People, please! Boomer up!

Let me help you put things in perspective. Sit back in your recliner, put on your specks and lower the volume on your TV set, so that you can concentrate of reading this; because if you are a true Boomer you are likely to forget everything you have read after leaving this site.

Remember you might be a Boomer if you leave one room, go into another room and then forget what you went after.

You might be a Boomer if you are surprised that there is still money left in the social security fund.

You might be a Boomer if you think that Hippie means a woman with junk in the trunk.

You might be a Boomer if you cannot twist the lid off of a jar, pull a flip top off of a can, or open a childproof bottle in less than 45 minutes.

You might be a Boomer if you cannot figure out how to use an iPhone, iPod, iPad or any gadget with an “i” in front of it, and if you think Steve Jobs is a book in the Bible.

You might be a Boomer if you believe that a TV reality show is really a reality show.

You might be a Boomer if you think a Badass is a person with hemorrhoids.

You might be a Boomer if you have forgotten phrases like “Far out,” “Right on,” “Cool,” and “Groovy.”

And you absolutely are not a Boomer if you don’t love every single thing about being one. Peace out!

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