A Father’s Day Message for Real Fathers

Male parents don’t always get the attention on Father’s Day that mothers get on theirs. Nevertheless, many children, young and grown, who know and love their fathers acknowledge them with a card, a gift, a phone call or a visit. And those of us whose dads are no longer alive simply acknowledge them in pleasant memories.  

It used to be traditional for men to hand out cigars following the birth of  their baby, but considering today’s anti-smoking campaigns and the extenuating circumstances under which some children are born, I don’t think the celebratory cigar is handed out anymore. Still, expectant fathers eagerly anticipate their child’s birth and claim bragging rights. They take pride in showing off their newborn and anticipate the day when that smiling child looks up at him and says “Happy Father’s Day, daddy.”

Unfortunately, not all men who call themselves father earn that right. Being a father means more than irresponsibly sowing wild oats, scattering seeds everywhere, and then becoming a deadbeat who is unwilling or unable to support his children. Case in point — 33 year old Desmond Hatchett, of Knoxville, Tennessee, fathered 30 children by 11 different baby mamas and is pleading with the state of Tennessee to help him pay child support, because he can’t handle it with his minimum wage job.  

Before a male can be a responsible father, he must first learn to be a responsible adult. Real fathers are accountable. They embrace all that fatherhood entails, including loving, nurturing, and financially supporting their children.

Six years ago, on June 25th, on his 79th birthday, my father suffered a stroke. Then, after lingering precariously for three months following that brain attack, he died, on August 30. Dad’s birthday occurs in the same month as Father’s Day and when he was alive I would buy his Father’s Day card and birthday card simultaneously. Then, after purchasing the cards, I would wonder what gift to buy him: the conventional tie (LOL), a few shirts, a watch?  In his later years, dad had acquired just about everything he wanted or needed, so I usually just bought him a card and he was all right with that. Dad was not a hard man to please, but he is an easy man to miss, and I do miss him so.

On Father’s Day while many people will honor, appreciate and celebrate their fathers. I will be thinking about mine. And I will also give a shout out to the countless extraordinary fathers out there like my son, my younger brother and  all of the other decent, hard-working and upstanding fathers — real fathers.  I wish you all a . . .

Happy Father’s Day.

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