If you are in a relationship with — or married to — a man who you love because he respects you, provides for you, and treats you like his queen – thank his mother. While no rule of behavior is set in stone, there is much truth to the adage that the way a man treats his mother reflects on how he will treat you.
We’ve all overheard conversations among women where the subject is mother-bashing — not their own mother, but his. Some women feel that they have exclusive rights to the man in their life, whether he is their husband or longtime boyfriend, and they view his mother as the “other woman.” Perhaps it never occurs to those anxious women that the woman who they believe is blocking their happy-ever-after is the woman who raised the man that they love.
Tensions between a mother and the main woman in her son’s life are sometimes the result of misconstrued perceptions on one or both sides. When there is respectfulness between them, there is no reason why there should be a power struggle with the two women vying for the exclusive attention of the same man. Each woman’s predisposition prevents or encourages a warm and loving relationship.
Whether a son is raised by a strong, determined mother in a wholesome nuclear family, or in the home of a struggling, yet well-grounded, single mother, if he has the nurturing, guidance, and the mindset to do so, that boy will grow up to be a well-adjusted, independent man who is fully capable of loving both of the two main women in his life.
I hope that my unconventional Mother’s Day message will be food for thought for women who are mothers, wanna be mothers, or women who just want to be the apple of their man’s eye, but feel that they are in contention with his mother. Consider this, many mothers were in your position at some point, they understand your angst.
I share the sentiment of nineteenth century essayist and poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson, who was raised by his mother after his father died; he had this to say, “Men are what their mothers made them.”
If on this Mother’s Day you have a good man, thank his mother. And to all of the devoted mothers out there who gave your all to raising your children of either gender, have a HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
Note: This post was previously published last year on my other blog (www.bboomersnet.com ). I have revised it and am reposting in honor of Mother’s Day.